semalam buat kali pertama aku memberanikan diri untuk berterus terang dengan SF setelah hampir 6 bulan usia persahabatan kami walaupun aku hanya mampu berbuat demikian melalui sms...

My sms : (mesej bergambar) i just wanna give a big hug for a person i don't get to see everyday but miss everytime..gud nite

Sf sms : carefull friend, i dah ada yang punya. Do you think that i'm gonna like this situation? don't treat me more than a friend...think

My sms : it just a friendly message from a friend to another friend. Thanks for reminding me...at least i know that i won't go beyond the line. Nite

Sf sms : hehe, sometimes it not just words. People can read our body language, whatz wrote and etc. Remember friend, i already at chapter 3. Hehe. Adios

My sms : you found it

Sf sms : found what? observation.

My sms : My blogspot

Sf sms : I wish! what is the add? you've told me it has been deleted. hasn't you?

My sms : Nevermind...you've read my body language. Glad that we managed to clear the things off. Till now i'm still trying my very best not to fall in love with you. Friendship is above all.

Actually i alredy in love with SF since we met walaupun ianya tidak pernah diluahkan...dan semalam segala persoalan sudah terjawab. To a 'mystery visitor' who wrote in my guest book...you are totally correct that i'm barking at the wrong tree and at my own shadow and stuck in my own shadow chasing game but I've proven that i have the balls to say it to SF without using my so called larger than life EGOCENTRIC as the shield or camouflarge.

Dan luka itu kembali berdarah...sayang ku pada SF adalah suatu yang tersendiri. Tiada mempunyai unsur-unsur berbau nafsu ghairah...malah aku tidak pernah terfikir untuk sampai ketahap itu. Dan aku tidak akan berhenti setakat itu untuk menyayanginya...and this is the price that i have to pay...

"My Immortal" by evanescence

my immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along